I recently noticed from the attitude of other people towards me that I'm creepy. Not in the stalkerish way, I just mean that not many people like me. Weird.

But then I noticed that it was actually because I have a knack for creeping people out. And although this isn't really helping out with my social life, what it does do is make the local idiots shut up and walk away. So in case you want tips on how to creep people out, I have written down all my personal favourites in a list. This is in no particular order, by the way.

1. Talk to an imaginary person. My imaginary person is called 'Evan', a name that I use in this situation as frequently as possible, so that there is an obvious pattern for people who may be observing this behaviour. Additionally, to make this more effective, I sit on the bus with a spare seat next to me, and, should anyone attempt to take their place in that seat, I stop them and yell "NO EVAN IS SITTING THERE" and they walk away with a hilarious expression on their faces.

2. Develop an evil laugh. This can be done without any problem at all by simply watching these two anime: Higurashi and Death Note. You will develop one without even trying. Use this laugh at every possible opportunity: after hearing a joke, after watching someone fall over, after watching your least favourite character die while watching a movie, while beating someone at a game... I could go on and on and on.

3. Stare at people for no reason. This is also fun, but it will make you look like a rapist. However, it really does help out if the local idiots have decided to get in your face for no reason. Just stand there, don't say a word, open your eyes wide and put on your best pokerface. It is guaranteed to work, I have used it multiple times and it never fails. Unless I'm doing it incorrectly, in which case it doesn't.

4. Threaten to dissect someone. I have done this to someone while I was wearing a lab coat and holding a pair of pliers. You should see how fast they run. >:3

5. Say random things. There are a lot of ways to go about this, but my favourite is "My eyebrows are thick, therefore your point is invalid." Also, "Roses are red, violets are blue, I ran out of rhymes, TURTLES", "Can't tell if it's a guy or a girl? Simply put, they are a salad", "Go and complain about it to Evan. He might be more interested than I am", and "FLYING MINT BUNNY~!! :D"

I have successfully wasted 20 minutes of my life. Meh, I'll shut up now.

_Kogata _

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